TV Timeout

I have officially had it with ESPN. Here's why: As I always do on Sunday evenings, I check out the 7 o'clock edition of Baseball Tonight on ESPN to see all the highlights of a Sunday of baseball. Today's show had a theme. Bar and bat mitzvahs have themes, proms have themes, Sweet 16s have themes; not Baseball Tonight. The theme was cards, as in playing cards. Considering all the great pitchers pitching today, they talked about which aces were pitching and then which team had an ace up their sleeve heading into the last 6 weeks of the season and then to top it off, the top 3 Cardinals home runs of all time. To make matters even worse, Steve Berthiaume of SNY, the Mets network (Yankee fans will understand the implied disrespect), fame was host. Why in God's name does Baseball Tonight need a theme? Anybody who watches the show just wants to see nothing but baseball highlights. The whole point of the program was to cut out all the bullshit of SportsCenter and get right to what SC is actually supposed to show: highlights.

The whole episode is emblematic of the problem with ESPN. ESPN, for some reason or another, panders to the casual sports fan with their "Who's Now" (newsflash: every athlete still playing is now, they aren't "later" or "in a while") bracket and their Chris Connelly and Bob Holtzman human interest stories about retarded kids with one eye, one leg and AIDS who shoot a 120 at the local golf course. Worst of all is the ESPY Awards. Its a chance for Stuart "Looking At The Camera And The Coffee Machine" Scott, Dana "Too Tall" Jacobson, Trey "For Real Man, What's Your Real Name?" Wingo to feel important as they interview Nelly and Peyton Manning one after the other and feel like ESPN actually matters for something.

ESPN is to sports what MTV is to music. You can watch either for hours and hours and see neither sports nor music. Poker is not a sport. The Real World is not music. ESPN is an acronym for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. I would be very entertained if SportsCenter would simply show a baseball, football or (God forbid) hockey higlight in its entirety and then show complete stats, not just two lines next to the score. ESPN used to do this, but it no longer can because actual games are less important than knowing about a drug addict who runs marathons high on meth (how inspiring!).

SportsCenter, and now unfortunately Baseball Tonight have lost touch with their original purposes: to show all the days sports highlights. There is no reason for themes or popularity votes or in depth stories about steroids and dog fighting. As an avid sports fan, I just want to see highlights. If I were a casual sports fan, I would just think ESPN was lame. I know this whole thing is hypocritical as I am watching ESPN as I write this, but hypocritical does not mean incorrect. ESPN needs to take a timeout. Just go off the air for like a month or so and then realize how far away they are from being a true sports network. There are baseball, basketball and or hockey games played virtually every night, yet ESPN shows only a few (in hockey's case none) a week. It is sad and pathetic that ESPN has more time slots devoted to poker than to real sports. Sports fans only need sports and casual fans can only get into sports by actually watching them. Take a timeout ESPN, get pumped and show some full highlights.

756 Doesn't Get You 1

Congratulation to Barry Bonds for breaking Hank Aaron's career home run record last night with homer #756. Regardless of the rampant accusations of steroid and HGH use, the man still hit the ball over the fence a lot of times. In addition to that, Barry Bonds, with or without steroids would still finish his career as one of the best all-around baseball players of all time. This brings me to my point for this blog: Bonds' legacy. Sure Bonds is top in a multiple of offensive and defensive. I mean 7 MVPs, 13 All-Star selections and 6 Gold Gloves is pretty impressive even with steroids. But there is one number Bonds possesses that few seem to mention in his chase for 756. That number is 0; as in the number of World Series rings Bonds has.

Can you really consider an individual player in a team sport the greatest of all time if he has not done what it takes to help his team win a championship? Q certainly does not think so. Bonds can have all the offensive records he wants, but honestly, what difference does it make if you don't have a ring? Barry Bonds will go down in history as the Dan Marino of MLB (or I sincerely hope so). Sports fans forever will say, "Yea, he was awesome in the regular season, but he couldn't and didn't do shit when it actually mattered." In my opinion, that is the single greatest insult to be placed on a "great" player. I mean, Joe Montana doesn't have to do Nutrisystem commericials, but Dan Marino does. The difference? Championships. The same will be for Bonds. In the end, what is really the point of individual accomplishments in a team sport especially when your team doesn't win?

Q's two favorite baseball players are Derek Jeter and Paul O'Neill. You won't find either one at the top of any offensive list, except maybe batting average, but they have 4 and 5 rings respectively. Why? Because they are team players. They know/knew what it takes to win as and with a team. Sure, people will always remember Bonds 73rd and 756th home runs, but no one can legitimately call him the greatest of all time because he has not fulfilled the one thing all baseball players are paid to do: win. Bonds has great individual regular season numbers, but he also has a .245 post season batting average and 0 rings. A great player, absolutely. The greatest of all time, absolutely not.

For The Dogs

Once again, it has been awhile. Quikstop has been really busy moving down to Va. Tech and starting my new job, so hopefully you can excuse me. Well I'm back because there is just so much going on right now, I just couldn't resist blogging it up.

Let's see, what should I talk about? Well, in honor of my being at VT, I think I will discuss the Michael Vick dog fighting investigation. It looks as if Michael Vick may never play for the Atlanta Falcons again because his house in Virginia was the center of a huge illegal dog fighting ring. As the former owner of an awesome German Shepherd, the fact that innocent dogs were electrocuted, hung and killed is nauseating. PETA has threatened to protest the NFL if Commissioner Roger Goodell does not severely punish Vick for his alleged actions (if I recall people were innocent until proven guilty in this country, but oh well). This brings me to my major problem with this "scandal" and PETA people in general. Michael Vick's actions were certainly questionable at best and deplorable at worst, but at least he didn't harm any PEOPLE. Should the FBI really be investigating dog fighting instead of terrorism or organized crime?

I'm not at all a fan of cruelty to any animals, (excepts cows and calves, they are just too tasty) but seriously people. Considering the deplorable things happening to actual human beings these days, should Michael Vick be a front-page story or the subject of a federal investigation? I don't think so. Almost two years after Hurricane Katrina, people in New Orleans are still living in a 3rd World situation (but it's cool because the Saints drafted Reggie Bush). Thousands are meaninglessly slaughtered in Dar Fur on a daily basis. Jews are still murdering Palestinians and vice versa. 190,000 American Veterans are homeless on the streets. These are real problems that mean the death of millions of innocent people every year, and yet Michael Vick's dead dogs are what everyone seems to care about.

What sickens me most about Vick-gate '07 is that if Michael Vick wasn't a $100 million athlete and the starting Quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, no one would give a damn about the dead dogs. Have we become such star fuckers in this country that crime only matters if done by or to the famous? Dog fights go one everyday somewhere in America, but when Michael Vick runs it it becomes a national scandal. People don't give a shit about the dogs, they care about getting their faces on television. So PETA, the FBI, the NFL, ESPN are all dogs, because a dog likes nothing more than getting attention.

It's Been A While

Hello all. Sorry it has been so long since I last blogged but it's been a busy month and a half. I graduated from the University of Maryland after enduring possibly the longest, most boring, worst commencement speech of all time. In short, the speech discussed how progress wasn't real, it was merely an idea. Shortly thereafter, I went to Europe for a month. Here are some things I learned:
1. ALL Spanish guys walk around like they are the shit, yet many of them have not yet gotten the 1993 memo that the mullet is not and has never been fashionable.
2. Paris is the most overrated city on Earth and there is certainly nothing romantic about it. Furthermore, the Mona Lisa is the most overrated painting on Earth.
3. Amsterdam is the shit.
4. The Heineken Factory tour is the best 11 Euros one can spend on the continent.
5. NOBODY in Europe likes immigrants.
6. EVERYBODY hates George W. Bush. Literally every time I told people I was from the United States, the response was, "Well, you didn't vote for Bush did you?"

It was really an awesome trip. I was in Madrid when Real Madrid won La Liga which was out of control and I got to see Cannavaro, Beckham, Sergio Ramos, Casillas and all those dudes up close and personal which was certainly a once in a lifetime experience. Anybody who would like to go back with me, please let me know.

When I returned from Europe, there was one thing that I had been looking forward to since I left: the last 2 episodes of The Sopranos. So, regardless of my fatigue and jetlag, I stayed up until 2 in the morning the night I got back to watch the final two. The second to last one was undoubtedly one of the best hours in television history. The finale was a good episode right up until the end. The killing off of Phil Leotardo (btw, Frank Vincent always plays the douche bag Guinea wise guy in everything) was classic. But to end The Sopranos, one of the best shows ever on television with fucking "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey is just pitiful. To end a fine television show with an played out song that people only listen to because it's so bad is despicable. We the viewers were all left with so many questions. What ends up happening to Tony? Will A.J. finally get his ass kicked as we've been hoping for since he grew that stupid as chin strap? What ever happened to Meadow's fiance "Yanks in 4, I was there" Finn? To just cut to black and make me think that my On Demand was broken was just terrible, so terrible. Instead of having some balls and making something, anything happen to Tony Sopranos, David Chase decided to have him eat Funions. I've always said that the show should have ended after Season 5; Season 6 was a whole lot of nothing. Ever since they killed off Aidriana and got rid of the only hot girl on the show just has not been the same, by which I mean good. I feel bad that I chose to watch The Sopranos instead of Family Guy Sundays at 9pm.

Happy 231st Birthday America!

Fundamental Problems

With the death of the Reverend Jerry Falwell this week and having just taken a history exam with an essay about the rise of conservatism in America, I got to thinking about the current state of America. For all the political rhetoric saying otherwise, we live in a country so morally and culturally divided that we are either in, or rapidly approaching, a culture war. There are so many people in this country who feel that the government should be the moral arbiter and that we should become a Christian nation, it is truly sickening. The fact that people could look up to a man, such as Falwell, who blamed September 11th on homosexuals and single mothers, leads me to believe that maybe we do live in a nation of morons. Are people really so willing to believe others as a replacement for finding their own answers? Maybe Vladimir Putin was right when he compared Bush's foreign policy to that of the Third Reich. Fascism is allowed to flourish when people stop asking questions and blindly accept whatever a ruler says.

This is the problem with religious interest groups playing a bigger and bigger role in American politics. Fundamentalist Christians, Jews, Muslims are fundamentalist because they have stopped asking questions and started only to accept answers from Reverends, Rabbis, Imams. While this may be fine in believing mythology, this is not how a representative democracy can function. Just because a politician is a leader and has power does not mean he is always right. In next year's election, we should focus not on a candidate's faith, but his politics. How can a person who by the very definition of his job has to send young men to foreign lands to die reconcile that with any religion? Of course, policy is no longer a political issue anymore. People care more about bogus issues such as abortion, gay marriage and banning pornography than balancing the budget, reforming the criminal justice system or getting rid of standardized tests in elementary school. The former are issues of personal liberties of which the government has no right to make policy; the latter are. It is a far bigger problem that a vast majority of middle schools think that Martin Luther King's "dream" was to end slavery than the fact that they don't say the "Our Father" after the Pledge of Allegiance. The more religious this country becomes, the stupider it becomes. Democracy teaches us to question, religion teaches us to blindly accept. The two cannot be reconciled. Until we all realize this, we will become further split between the secular and the religious and when such a sharp divide occurs, well, just look at the Middle East.

Voting our Values Away

In Novembers 2000 and 2004, the small percentage of Americans who actually do vote decided to vote not with their wallets or their heads, but with their hearts. Americans voted for President Bush because he was all about values and morality because he was a born-again Christian (so was Karla Faye Tucker and Bush did not commute her death sentence). Really America? Really? Not that anyone reading this will need to be reminded but George Bush used to be addicted to cocaine and alcohol which almost led his wife Laura to pack up and leave with the girls. Furthermore, he was the governor of TEXAS. While he was governor of Texas, the state executed more convicts than all the other states combined. Would Christ ever allow a retarded person to be executed?

Q is willing to let all the above slide. Seriously, as a once-born Catholic I forgive him for his past sins and hypocrisies. There is one thing, however, for which President Bush and his entire administration can never be forgiven. On 29 Sunday 2007, John Sullivan and Spencer S. Shu wrote in the Washington Post that over $800 million dollars in foreign aid for Hurricane Katrina relief was unaccepted by the government. Furthermore, instead of taking this free aid from our allies, the administration decided to pay other groups to do the same work. For instance, Greece offered two cruise ships to be used as free hotels and hospitals for victims. Instead, the administration paid, yes paid $250 million to Carnival Cruises to do the same. The administration also refused cash and oil from Middle Eastern countries meaning that instead of getting free oil and lowering energy prices the administration (read: oil companies) decided to refuse both the cash and the oil and I have to pay $3 per gallon.

While this incredible ineptitude and hubris by this administration is deplorable and nauseating, the fact that no politicians have spoken publicly about this since the publication of this article is just as deplorable and nauseating. This whole sad affair proves but one thing to me: our federal government has failed us and continues to fail us. Everyone is busy campaigning and fundraising for an election that is exactly 19 months away and yet people in the Gulf Coast still live in trailers.

I am often questioned about my ambivalence towards voting. Why should I vote for someone who does not give a damn about their own country? Why should I vote simply to put air an already over-inflated ego? Abraham Lincoln said, "The job of government is to do for its citizens what they cannot do for themselves." The unfortunate souls in the Gulf Coast cannot do anything in their current situation, yet the government won't do it either. I will vote come 7 November 2008. I really will. It won't be for the Democrats and it won't be for the Republicans. I'm going to vote for a 3rd party candidate. Get everybody who is in there out of there. They have failed us all and they do not deserve our votes.

Profiles in Cowardice

HOORAY! This week, the Senate approved a $124 billion Iraq war spending bill. This meager amount of cash would mean that troop withdrawal would have to start July 1, or October 1 at the latest. The Democrats in both Houses of Congress hailed this as a "victory". A victory? Really? I cannot recall a time when a victory for Congress was pandering to the Commander in Chief. I feel all the members of Congress need a little history lesson, or more accurately, a reading lesson. Article I, Section VIII of the Constitution of the United States says in part, "The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States;". The power to "provide for the common defense" also means that Congress has the right to not exercise that power. Even Caesar needed money for his wars, and Bush sure ain't no Caesar. The Democrats are so frickin' scared of being labeled "unpatriotic" by President Bush and his cronies.

One of the most loathed Senators in American history was Joe McCarthy from Wisconsin who started and flamed the Red Scare with his interrogation of hundreds of so-called "communists". He was a crazy alcoholic, but at least he had balls. He was even willing to challenge the President of the United States as a softy on communism. Now, those in Congress are so concerned about their images and not their convictions. Congress now seems like "American Idol" for the ugly and untalented. It's all about getting re-elected and looking like a "good guy". Politics needs to stop being a career. There should be a limit of 1 term ever for each member of the House or Senate. Maybe then, without having to worry about being re-elected, would their testicles drop for the first time since puberty. My point is this: politicians in Washington could care less about public service and only wish to serve themselves. They are supposed to be the best and the brightest; they are the mediocre and the dim.

Love him or hate him, Thomas Jefferson said this, ""The happiness and prosperity of our citizens... is the only legitimate object of government and the first duty of governors." Soldiers who come back with two of four limbs can neither be happy nor prosperous. Our government and our governors have failed us all. They could start mending the wound by demanding an immediate end to this war. They control the funds. Stop paying for it. Stop making it sounds like it is such a complicated process because I don't really see how it use. Just do the job the Constitution deems you do. No money = troops home. Everything else you say is just bullshit rhetoric. Invading Iraq was never for "the common defense" of America. Most of you sissy Democrats signed off on it without question and without studying the history of one of the most dysfunctional countries in world history (I'm talking about Iraq, remember Afghanistan?). Now is your chance to make right on your egregious error.